Recently I received a coupon for “$10 Off any food purchase of $10 or more” at Red Lobster. Since I don’t like neither red nor lobster, I am putting it up as the valuable prize for my new
First Ever “KC With The Russian Accent” Contest
Yes, I am taking a page out of TKC’s playbook: a picture of scantily dressed woman, red bold headings and some links, but on top of that I am throwing in a valuable prize and hopefully encouraging some creativity (beyond four letter comments) and a healthy competition.
Here is the task: Below you’ll see a Russian poster from 1930’s. All I will say about it is that it is health-related and educational. It’s not an advertisement of any product. The person who comes up with the best caption will win the prize and will be on the way to Red Lobster to get whatever $10 will buy you. Conditions of the contest are below the poster.
Terms and Conditions:
- I am the sole decider of who gets the prize. I will be fair and balanced. Do not try to seduce me to gain unfair advantage especially if you are a guy. You will be disqualified.
- My decision is final. I may ask for suggestions or put the best entries up for voting.
- I will not be going to the Red Lobster with you; that would require me to spend my own money. That will not happen.
- You must be willing to provide your mailing address. I promise not to show up uninvited and even if invited. You must be willing to confirm the fact of receiving said coupon from me so I don’t look like a dirty liar.
- You must have a valid Mastercard and use the coupon before 6/30/2008.
- This blog is not responsible for your experience before, during, and after the use of the coupon, crappy food, food poisoning, traffic and parking tickets, bad dates, screaming kids and unfriendly waiters. After you receive your prize this blog will deny any knowledge of who you are.
- If you use your mad Russian skills to decipher the text on the poster I will find out and you will be disqualified. I have a hard time explaining what it says in English and I am a pro at this.
- Both sides of the prize coupon can be found here.
- Contest will be closed a week from today and the prize will be awarded next Friday 5/9/2008. Late entries will not be accepted.
Good luck and let the best woman win!
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16 responses so far ↓
1
AF
// May 1, 2008 at 8:15 pm
I bet it’s something with cracking nipples..
Use this shit for cracking nipples yo.
-Anon Fbomb
2
m.v.
// May 1, 2008 at 9:01 pm
I said it was not a product advertisement.
3
Bitter Betty
// May 1, 2008 at 9:05 pm
Bite me. Just because people advertise AIDS checking, doesn’t mean they are advertising anything. Okay.. I go with drying out your boobs after childbirth..
You know what, I don’t even want your stupid coupon, eat me!
The new AF is kinda bitter huh?
4
midtown miscreant
// May 1, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Boris Badenoff’s Borscht Breast Ointment.
Amazing Russian borscht breast enhancement ointment. Developed by doctor Boris Badenoff .
After 20 applications the breast on the right is a C cup-ski, while the left breast which received a placebo is a paltry A cup-ski.
Contains a proprietary blend of Vodka, Beets and Chernobyl spring water.
5
Well Hell Michelle
// May 1, 2008 at 10:12 pm
“Milk Maids, please disenfect your nipples before every adult customer who drinks your breast milk.”
6
Chimpo
// May 1, 2008 at 10:16 pm
Nothing soothes my soul after a long day at the office like a raw slice of potato dunked in some warm breast milk.
7
Kristine
// May 1, 2008 at 10:42 pm
You forgot the 3-7 exclamation points after the red bold heading. !!!!!
8
Xavier Onassis
// May 1, 2008 at 10:43 pm
“Remember that guy in the bar with all of the Mother Russia medals?”
“Yeah, I didn’t think so! ”
“Sterelize your nipples (with rubbing alcohol)before breast feeding your baby. You don’t know where your tits have been (you vodka-slut).”
9
Heather
// May 2, 2008 at 12:18 am
I’m just not going to go there…
10
m.v.
// May 2, 2008 at 7:44 am
so far entries 4,5,6 and 8 look like contenders, with #4 taking an early lead for using words “boris” and “borscht”. entry #9 is unclear: not going to Red Lobster?. more than one entry is allowed.
11
emawkc
// May 2, 2008 at 11:00 am
“Keep Mother Russia’s Nipples Clean, Buy War Bonds!”
12
Warren
// May 2, 2008 at 2:23 pm
“Petite, insanely shy blond Moscowvite seeks stout yet sensitive Georgian for long walks in the woods, multiple vodka shots and morning laving.”
“Serious inquiries only.”
(No anarchists, please)
13
travel
// May 3, 2008 at 8:37 am
Cleanliness is next to Marxism
I’m disqualified as I don’t have a Mastercard
14 Mid-Week Updates // May 6, 2008 at 9:51 pm
[...] expected a better turnout for the first ever contest with a valuable prize. So far my favorite entry is by Midtown Miscreant who used every Russian cliché known to an [...]
15
Burrowowl
// May 7, 2008 at 10:07 am
Lactating? Wear a pad under your shirt, you slob!
16 Write a Caption: A Contest With a Prize (Again) // May 29, 2008 at 8:32 pm
[...] success of the previous caption-writing contest suggests that if a blogger can’t encourage enough comments by the quality and content of his [...]
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