Long time ago, when the produce used to be seasonal, young garlic was one of the first signs of spring. Young garlic is just that – the garlic plant before the bulb forms. At that point the whole plant is edible top to bottom; in a few weeks it becomes rough and the season is over. For years I was on the lookout for the young garlic and once even signed up for a CSA just because they listed it among the produce they grew. Last Saturday I finally found some at the River Market; the lady even repeated “garlic” twice to make sure I know what it is. I knew. Young garlic tastes a lot milder than the real thing and I just eat it with meals. There are some recipes out there, I don’t bother, it’s perfect the way it is and only needs to be peeled.
The way to tell the young garlic from, say, green onions is by its flat leaves.
Young garlic for me always means spring. Hurry up and get your spring started.
Since not too many of you will ever come face-to-face with these guardians of law, you may find these photos entertaining. Pictured are reportedly the new Militia uniforms, continuing in the fine traditions of the old Soviet ugliness and institutional design. Looks like the models are the real men and women of the Russian Militia; it’s hard for anyone else to imitate the indifferent, self-important faces, with dead eyes and no sign of mental activity.
For today’s musical number I present the song “We Are The Moscow Militia”: We have one tradition we can’t forget – We are the people’s Militia, people are our friends.
Due to my bad memory I now have to write down the things that grind my gear-skiy, which grinds my gear-skiy even more. So lets just get to this month’s edition:
Any business with the words “granny” or “grandma” in the name should immediately be shut down by authorities for not passing the “stress test”. There is some mortgage company whose radio commercials start with the words “Kids? Granny!”. This is one granny I can’t wait to see dead.
People who list every ingredient in their meal adding the word “organic” to it, something like “I got two slices of organic whole grain hand-ground bread, one half of an organic free-roaming hormone-less chicken breast on top, with an organic home-grown tomato and topped it off with an organic, non-GM slow-mixed dressing”. Makes me wanna eat something with a good helping of fertilizer and die.
White people who accentuate their super-correct pronunciation of Spanish words and names. Something like “Viarrrragosssssssa“. Concentrate on the other 4 Spanish words you know: taco, burrrrrrrito, cerveza and “¡Yo quiero Taco Bell!“.
Have you ever walked into a grocery store to the smell you imagine to be the smell of hell, where the combination of fire, brimstone and sinners being fried produce a distinct unbearable stench? Then you have witnessed a food demonstrator who can’t cook. It’s hard to believe what one (old) person with an electric skillet can do to stink up a store the size of a football field. This doesn’t apply to food-sampling people at Costco who only demonstrate the foods with pleasantly delicious smells.
Have you seen these electronic billboards along the highway that seem to change every 30 seconds? Sometimes it takes me 3 days to get the whole ad; most of the time I catch the beginning, middle or the end of the display in random order, not that it matters – most of them are for either Dane or David Cook (I’ll have to drive by few more times to see which one for sure). By the way, if you paid for tickets to see Dane Cook, I don’t mind losing you as a reader.
People who put bible verse numbers on their license plates. Let me get my pocket reference bible out to find out which verse you are quoting – about the “eye for an eye” (EX 21:23-27) or about not eating pork (Leviticus 11:7-8). How about just sticking with generic state-issued numbers or something less cryptic like:
And now, since we are on the photo portion of this post, here are a few more:
If you visit The Pitch’s website, this picture is probably very familiar to you, it was their illustration to the article about people who overcame the rickets.
Lastly, I am a big fan of all things multitasking, like this new supplement which can help you eliminate two opposite conditions – constipation and diarrhea, not to mention urgency. To that I say: genius! Next in the pipeline: drugs that simultaneously cure baldness and excessive hair growth, reduce and increase appetite, and always popular supplement to treat insomnia and help you stay awake at the same time.
Due to my bad memory I now have to write down the things that grind my gear-skiy, which grinds my gear-skiy even more. So lets just get to this month’s edition:
