• Care And Safety of Women While Camping

    Care and safety of women during camping trips is an important subject that’s often overlooked. If your woman looks good, other men will try to steal her away from you. She may also use the outdoors, your relaxed state and heavy alcohol intake to escape. There are multiple other dangers lurking in the seemingly peaceful wooded and lake areas. To avoid potential pitfalls it’s best to tie your woman to a heavy unmovable object such as a tree or a post:

    The type of the knot you use is very important: some women are crafty and will untie an easy knot before you know it. Remember your boyscout years; here is some detail from the photo above:

    If you have a young child, place him on a tree with the rifle in clear view of your woman as an extra precaution:

    After your woman is secured you can finally proceed to do what camping is really all about: getting drunk, ogling other untied women and trying not to lose your brand new boat.

    This safety tip was brought to you by:

    Truck Antlers: Don’t Be A Schmuck, Turn You Truck Into A Buck!

    Additional financing by:
    Giant Fish-Looking Mailboxes: Who Is A Pussy Now?  I Am Talking To You, You God Damn Mailman Son-Of-A-Bitch!

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  • New Project: Kansas City Vintage Signs

    I need to credit my friend and local celebrity Dave from the Kansas City Lunch Spots for this idea – to collect or catalog the unique vintage signs that still can be found in many places around town. From the iconic sign atop the Western Auto Building to the vintage sign in front of Lobito’s Steakburger these historic relics are as important to the city as buildings, streets and parks. Unfortunately they are slowly disappearing from the landscape just like the famous White Haven Motor Lodge sign that used to welcome visitors to the old motel in Overland Park.

    Dave writes:

    Seriously, how great is it that this business chose to keep the original sign rather than tearing it down or covering it up with a modern one? It may have been purely a matter of cost, but it was also a good business decision because I will always stop at a lunch spot with a good old fashioned sign.

    I don’t think even this awesome sign would make me want to stay at the Motel Capri on Admiral and Paseo, but the fact that it’s still standing calls for a show of respect.

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  • Checked Off My Bucket List: Seattle

    Preface:

    Hundreds of thousands of people with better cameras and better photography skills vacation at the same places as me.

    Hundreds of thousands of people are better at travel writing than I am, better at writing in general, and are clearly better than me at speaking English.

    Go read their damn blogs….

    I love to travel. It helps me to relax; feel in charge when I am planning my next trip, buying tickets and making reservations; learn new things; change the scenery; feel better (or worse) about my hometown. Most importantly, it helps me not to raise a moron. This year we traveled to the Pacific Northwest, a place that until now remained a blank spot on my travel map. We visited Seattle, took an Amtrak train to San Francisco and drove 450 miles along the Pacific Coast on Highways 1 and 101, stopping for a night in Monterey. The trip turned out to be even better than I imagined.

    The next several posts will be about these places illustrated with tons of photos (I brought back 1,214, which would probably weigh tons if I was using film).

    Face:

    If there was a god, the Pacific Northwest would have been his reward to the people who didn’t quit going West in the middle of Kansas, and, instead of making “Ad Astra Per Aspera” their motto and giving up, continued to endure and persevere for months and years, slowly consuming their mates on the way. When these people, exhausted and with little hope remaining, saw the water in front of them (after the rain stopped and the fog cleared 6 months later), they knew it was all worth it, and everyone they ate on the way would have wanted it that way. Over time they proceeded to cut and kill most of the things so abundant in the area, swindle the Indians, build depressing slums and fill the void with homeless people, Mexican radio stations, French-speaking tourists and a special breed of people who ride the Ducks.

    Over time, people had an epiphany, and after multiple fires and earthquakes, the Pacific Northwest and Northern California (I have no idea if these are considered one geographical region) are an American jewel, a place where the nature, weather and landscape combined with the architecture, city planning, atmosphere and a number of Asian restaurants approaching infinity make one understand why people are willing to pay mind-blowing prices to live there.

    If I had to summarize Seattle in one photo, it would probably be this shot of a redheaded, bearded guy in a cap, wearing sandals and smoking a pipe.

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  • Behind The Iron Curtain: Outdoor Propaganda In The USSR

    I wrote previously the propaganda surrounding the Soviet people at all the usual and unusual places. People nostalgically musing about the “olden days” when there was practically no outdoor advertisement in the USSR, forget about all the hammers and sickles, red banners, communist party slogans and whatever else was supposed to inspire us to keep building, fulfilling, laboring and rejoicing.
    A recently posted set of photos taken by a Western tourist in the 1984 USSR has some great examples of the ubiquitous outdoor propaganda in Moscow and Leningrad. I added some translations to the photos that needed explanation and I recommend you take a minute to flip through the rest of the set in the slide-show at the end of this post.

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  • Move ’em On, Head ’em out, Then Hide!

    Another key to an 83% approval rating? Put all your political opponents in jail.

    TheDLC

    The comment above was posted on my recent post about Vladimir Putin. Today my blog feed brings an illustration.

    Here we see a participant of a legal non-violent picket of the Moscow City Hall being carefully handled by the militia (Russian name for police).

    ©www.sasha-utkin.ru

    Here we see his partner being picked up as well.

    ©www.sasha-utkin.ru

    And after a short pampering…

    ©www.sasha-utkin.ru

    …being loaded in the van.

    ©www.sasha-utkin.ru

    Single-person pickets do not require permission. According to the article these people were asked to leave and when they refused, were carried out and taken away. To the best of my knowledge protesters are usually let go the same day or the next morning, apparently Russian militia just enjoys the process and resulting news reports.

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