I wonder if there is a rating scale for potholes similar to the F-Scale for tornadoes or the Richter Scale for earthquakes. If there isn’t one, I’d like to propose a Kansas City Pothole Scale to commemorate this City’s contribution to the subject of road damage. I’ll leave it to the scientists to decide if potholes should be rated based on their size or on a potential vehicle damage from a minor bump (K-1) to a complete disappearance of the vehicle as described in the Bible “and the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed them up” (definitely a K-10).

Every day I have to maneuver around this crater of a pothole on my way to work, wondering if one wrong turn will send me on my way to the center of the Earth, or at least a little closer to it.

As you can see, there are visible remains of the previous handiwork done by the highly trained professionals working for the City.

It’s hard to tell but the tape measure in the photo is extended to almost three feet to give you some dimension perspective.

It’s not just a hole in the ground. There seems to be a cave underneath it. Maybe it’s an old mine, or an unknown entrance to the abandoned underground tunnel, or an end of the secret escape route leading to the Mayor’s office.

I didn’t feel like spelunking my way down there on a gray Saturday morning.

Few days ago someone placed an orange warning sign around this pothole but it swallowed the City property overnight. You can see the remains of the sign deep down in the abyss.

During my annual griping about the KCMO Earnings Tax, someone never fails to point out that it’s only fair that I pay my fair share for the roads and wonderful amenities I am using while I am in Kansas City. Stupidity of this argument aside, I think I paid enough during my 10 years of employment to fill this hole with cash.

This article explains that you may have a small chance of the City compensating you for the damage to your vehicle caused by a pothole; coverage may be provided by the Missouri Public Entity Risk Management Fund. Obviously I am not qualified to provide any advice, do your own research.

In the meantime, please exercise caution on this intersection of the 6th and Cherry, you’ll find the giant pothole next to the property tax-free building.

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One wrong move and you may accidentally discover the next steamboat Arabia.

Mr.Gorbachev Mayor Funkhouser! Tear down this wall! Fill up this hole!

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Every spring in a secret undisclosed location in downtown Kansas City…

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Videos of a 93-year-old lady cooking Great Depression-era meals are making multiple rounds on the Internet. While I liked the videos, I thought to myself: what do you people eat that makes these meals look like poor man’s food to you? I watched a few and didn’t see anything that I wouldn’t normally cook and eat on a regular non-depression day. Some of my favorite foods are simple, few-ingredient recipes that are easy to cook and hard to screw up. Low cost comes as a bonus, not a goal. Are XO Burgers or Greg’s Fried Chicken supposed to be Depression foods? Certainly not! Yet I bet they cost less than 2 dollars per serving.  Here is another recipe that doesn’t cost a lot and is easy to cook:

Ingredients:

• meat (beef, pork, if chicken – use dark meat)
• potatoes
• tomato paste
• cabbage (optional)
• salt,pepper,bay leaf

Pour a little bit of oil (olive or not) into your dutch oven or a heavy pot. Cut some onions (I used 1.5 medium onions) and saute them on a medium-low heat until they are soft and brown(ish) for about 20 minutes. In the meantime, cut your meat in a bite-size chunks. You don’t want them to be too big (you may tend to overestimate your “bite-size”  and make your meat too big to fit in your mouth), nor do you want to cut it too small (you won’t be able to taste your meat). When onions are ready, move them to one side of the pot and raise the heat to medium or little higher. In the free space, brown your meat in batches, keeping an eye on the onions and not letting them burn. Do not dump all the meat at once, it will not brown properly, instead releasing unsightly liquid. When the first batch is browned, mix it with onions, move to the side and proceed with other batches as necessary. Add salt, pepper and bay leaf. You could brown your meat in a separate skillet, but remember that dishes don’t wash themselves. Now add cubed potatoes and mix it all up. Skip the next step if you were born and/or raised in America. Add about half of a medium cabbage, sliced. Americans, get back on board here. Add 1 tablespoon of tomato paste. You can also use salsa if you wish. Lower the heat, cover and cook until potatoes (and cabbage) get soft, mixing periodically. If you notice that your food is burning on the bottom, add a little water. That’s it. Delicious meal  in no time and for almost no money.

Remember: a pound of hot dogs costs more than a pound of chicken. You don’t need to be on food stamps to start eating delicious cheap meals. Of course when you “claim your check now” (actual advertisement from my Yahoo Messenger is on the left) you can go back to eating lobster, until then – stop eating crap.

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One of the milk products of my childhood that’s hard or impossible to find here is tvorog sometimes referred to as the Farmer Cheese. Instead of trying to find it, I use strained yogurt to make these tasty pancakes.
By the way, the only yogurt that doesn’t contain any extra ingredients (none) and not overpriced at the same time is this one.
As always, women who’d like to wake up to the smell of these cooking should apply in the comments section.

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When I was growing up© the ultimate summer non-alcoholic drinks were kompot and kvas. Kompot is a fruit drink made by boiling available fruits with sugar and then letting it chill. I am not sure if there is any recipe for a kompot, almost any imaginable fruit and berry can be used. Apples, peaches, plums, pears, strawberries, blueberries and especially sour cherries make the most delicious drink in about 20 minutes. Just cut the fruits (you don’t even have to peel the apples if you don’t feel like it) and add all of the ingredients to the pot of water. It still should be mostly water, it’s a drink not a meal. When it boils, add sugar to taste. Cover and cook for 10-15 minutes – no need for the fruits to disintegrate. Turn the heat off and leave covered to cool down. Kompot is the best when chilled and it only gets better after a day or two. In winter dried fruits can be used but dried fruits sold in this country are infused with sulfur dioxide to make them more presentable which coincidentally kills their taste.

Kompot tastes so good that people used to preserve (can) it for winter when not too many ingredients were available. It’s not some colored chemical compound that kids drink nowadays. Give it a try, you won’t go back!

Soon I will be making kvas and will post about it then.

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