The 8th of March is almost near us,
My heart is pounding away.
Don’t let me down, trusty penis
On International Women’s Day. Russian Folklore (Free Translation by Me)
Every spring starts with sunshine, melting snow, more revealing clothes on the most beautiful women and the International Women’s Day on March 8.
International Women’s Day is a holiday for all women; it doesn’t single out mothers or women who have diamond-bearing men in their lives. Instead it celebrates every woman: a woman living alone with multiple cats pets, a woman who doesn’t get invited to romantic dinners, a scary woman at work, a cigarette-smelling waitress at the Waffle House who calls you “hon” and even the woman holding a “slow” sign in the highway work zone. These women may not look like models or be pleasant to deal with, but that doesn’t mean they should be excluded from a holiday based on arbitrary prerequisites such as having children or being in a relationship. That’s why I am surprised this holiday is virtually unknown in the US even though it was first introduced here in 1909.
All kidding aside, women make our lives happy and exciting, they surround us with beauty and give us a reason to go on, they give us great memories and make our hearts pound. Making a woman laugh is one of the greatest pleasures of life and it never gets old.
This year I am posting this a few days early so you can plan your upcoming celebrations, purchase flowers and presents, as well as locate and hug your nearest woman and, while she is calling the police, try to convince her you were just trying to congratulate her with the International Women’s Day.
During my trip to St.Louis I made my annual visit to McDonald’s because my daughter requested McSalad. I was disappointed that inflation continues to devastate McValue “dollar” menu. You used to be able to get medium French fries in a cardboard package, and now it’s downgraded to small fries in a little paper bag. Very old people would be able to recite McDonald’s original prices: hamburgers–15 cents; cheeseburgers–19 cents; fries–10 cents; soft drinks–10 cents and 15 cents; coffee–5 cents; and shakes–20 cents. With higher prices and crappy food there shouldn’t be any reason to go to McDonald’s, while we have plenty of local hamburger joints such as Town Topic, Harold’s and Winstead’s.
Just in time for the Cosmonautics Day from my Father’s archives – a never before seen this side of the Iron Curtain newspaper published on April 13, 1961. (click photos for a readable version).
This extra edition is titled “It Happened!”. On the right side with the subtitle “In history – forever” there a story and a time-line of the flight. On the left there is an official announcement from the Government and the Central Committee of the Communist Party titled “Listen, Planet! – to the progressive humanity”.
In the middle there is a short telegram to Gagarin from Nikita S. Khrushchev titled “Hugs!”
Dear Yuri Alekseevich (Gagarin)! I am extremely delighted to congratulate you with your outstanding heroic accomplishment – the first space flight on the spaceship “Vostok”.
The entire Soviet people admire Your brave deed, which will be remembered for centuries as an example of bravery, heroism and courage in service to all humankind.
Your flight opens a new page of the space exploration in the history of mankind and fills the hearts of the Soviet people with joy and pride for their Socialist Motherland.
From the bottom of my heart I congratulate you with the safe return from space back to Earth. Hugs.
See you soon in Moscow.
Signed “N.Khrushchev” April 12, 1961.
On the reverse side there are articles “We Did It!”, describing how the three main social classes – workers, peasants and intelligentsia contributed to the triumph of the space flight;”Minutes that shook the world!”;”Earth gave us wings for the flight” and other small items and poetry.
Bonus: A newspaper published on May 4th, 1961 titled “First Mayday of the Cosmic Era”.
And now we dance:
This song is called “Gagarin,I loved you” by Russian band Undervud.
For the longest time a trip to Argentina has occupied the top spot on my imaginarybucketlist, patiently waiting for its time. Talking about my dream to visit Argentina became such a part of my life that after finally getting it done, I might be at a loss of subjects to discuss in a polite conversation. In any case, the trip and the country of Argentina turned out to be everything I imagined it to be and much more, and became the longest, the most expensive and the best trip of my adult life.
During my trip to St.Louis I made my annual visit to McDonald’s because my daughter requested McSalad. I was disappointed that inflation continues to devastate McValue “dollar” menu. You used to be able to get medium French fries in a cardboard package, and now it’s downgraded to small fries in a little paper bag.
