Kansas City, MO. When Kansas City’s most famous beer blogger Bull E.Vard was standing in the middle of the cavernous Twin Cities IKEA updating his Facebook with the message about tasting “smoked roe cheese spread” he didn’t know he was texting the beginning of a love story. “I just felt like I needed to share the news with the world”, said Mr. Vard during the phone interview, “I am a big believer in the social media and this was something I wanted all my readers to know”. Another Kansas City blogger meesha.v was on the verge of giving up hope of finding love. After a few short affairs with the salmon-flavored cream-cheese and onion dip he almost resolved to live out the rest of his life without finding the someone he could love. She had to be cheesy, but not overly so, with complex slightly fishy taste; looks mattered too. When he read Bull’s message:
I sampled a surprisingly good smoked roe cheese spread. I may bring home a tube of it.
he immediately knew that this could be the one. Being Swedish was a definite plus. He asked Bull E.Vard to pick up a few and waited impatiently. Last Friday under the H&R Bloch clock tower they were finally reunited. “I slept only 3 hours in the past three days” said excited m.v., “but it was totally worth the wait”. It was love at the first sight. Co-workers and friends noticed immediate change in m.v. “He used to be so sad and now there is a twinkle in the back of his eye” said one anonymous tipster. m.v. is not sure about his plans for the future, but one thing is clear: social media takes matchmaking to the whole new level. “This made a believer out of me” said m.v. “it sure did”
In real life it was even more exciting than in this press release. When Bull E.Vard delivered two tubes of Kalles Kaviar I immediately knew I should have ordered a case because that’s all I am going to eat for the rest of my life. Well, that and the delicious lingonberry preserves he was also kind enough to buy for me.
I didn’t think that anything but the real bread is worthy of the Kaviar, so I baked one.
Then I couldn’t stand the wait any longer:
First, I squeezed the tube:
Then, gently spread it on the bread:
Then, oooooo…ooooooo,mmmmm, there was nothing left. I needed a kleenex napkin. Must be the delicious taste of that “rapeseed oil” and “oeufs de poisson fumes”
Stock talk engrosses Mrs. Alice Watson, Salina, Kan. antiques dealer and Harry Nickelson of BacheWall Street goes West, in persons of four salesmen from Bache & Co Salina, Kan office. Nattily standing in a winter wheat field are (from left) Bob Muir, Kelly Slaughter, Lyle Fackler, Harry Nichelson. They serve a growing list of farmer-investor, do not always dress so dudishly.
Recently State of Missouri made an announcement about repealing some old ban on “yellow-tinted imitation butter and the other restrictions imposed on the sale, possession or shipment of substitute sandwich spread that is a different hue”. The question is why would anyone want to eat this crap in the first place. I understand that the law was written for different reasons but I wouldn’t mind them actually enforcing it to get fake products out of our grocery stores. And while they are at it, they might as well get rid of
disgusting turkey bacon
any food that has the word “flavored” in it’s name
products that have ingredients that can’t be explained
things that have artificial coloring (I wonder what their real color is)
fruits and vegetables possessing some unnatural characteristics such as crunchy tomatoes and strawberries
breads that can be compressed to 1/10 of original volume
anything in green packaging, green doesn’t mean healthy, it’s just a color
no-fat sour cream
rename rice- and soy-milk into rice- and soy-juice or whatever; it’s not milk even if it’s white
non-dairy dairy products
artificial powdered coffee creamer, WTF is that made of anyway
cheese in a can and powdered cheese
stop McRib comebacks
I am not a believer in things that are “good for you”, or “locavores”, or “slow foods”, or whatever else is in fashion right now. I do believe that if you want butter, you should eat butter, not some yellow crap in a tub. If you are unable to eat some foods due to health reasons, just enjoy something else, don’t eat fake chemical concoction designed in the lab to fool your senses.
In these times when most of our activities had been replaced by imaginary and virtual things, maybe we should draw the line at fake foods. Homey don’t eat that crap!
UPDATE: How could I forget the scam that is organic food. Thanks, L.L.!
This year marks the twenty-year anniversary of the triumphant end of my military service. Shortly after my long-awaited discharge from the Engineer Corps in June of 1990, the American Secret Services sensed a weak spot in the pontoon troops where I had served and used it to break up the Soviet Union. Of course, it was unthinkable while I was still in service; my fierce looks used to send the enemy running for their lives.
My Mom and Me. …long, long time ago… I can still remember
Today is the Soviet Army and Navy Day – a long-renamed holiday of a long-gone country. 20 years ago I couldn’t imagine being nostalgic thinking about my military service. But here I am – it was a time uncomplicated by work, taxes and raising kids and now it doesn’t seem like such a horrible way to spend two years of one’s life. So instead of rewriting my last year’s post I will share a few music videos on the subject.
This song is called “We Are The People’s Army”:
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANU2Rz4WNcI
And lastly – world-famous Kalinka, here you can find the lyrics and sing along.
Besides the name of the doctor -Frank J. Strick and the year these photos were taken in Kansas -1949, I wasn’t able to find much about this set. One photo shows a road sign with distances to Burlington, Yates Center and Iola, KS so that somewhat outlines the general area in the Southeast Kansas.
Recently State of Missouri made an announcement about repealing some old ban on “yellow-tinted imitation butter and the other restrictions imposed on the sale, possession or shipment of substitute sandwich spread that is a different hue”. The question is why would anyone want to eat this crap in the first place. I understand that the law was written for different reasons but I wouldn’t mind them actually enforcing it to get fake products out of our grocery stores. And while they are at it, they might as well get rid of