As the news of an American spy being arrested in Russia with an entire Maxwell Smart spy kit in his possession filled the Russian and American airwaves, I realized that sadly the CIA doesn’t read this blog. Just a few weeks ago I provided a set of instructions for the spy to survive in Russia undetected. Things like putting your feet up, sipping and enjoying cocktails, being too smart and hard-working, wigs, money and compasses will definitely get you found out. Or even a lost button from your pant pocket. Here is a song based on a true story, written in 1939 and performed by some kids.

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bb_i_48TgpU

*very free translation mine.

A little brown button was lying on the road,
And no one had noticed it in tons of brown dust.
A bunch of bare feet was stomping on that road,
A bunch of tanned and bare feet by little button passed.

The boys walked in a crowd all from a distant village,
Alyosha walked behind all and raised the most dust.
On purpose or by accident, he couldn’t tell for sure,
He stepped on little button, and stopped in place aghast.

“This button don’t look ours!” – cried out all the children.
“And weird foreign letters are written very large!”
To border patrol station they raced like wild horses
To show little button to someone who’s in charge.

“Please show me exactly,” – told them commander strictly
And opened map of border he right in front of troop.
He asked the name of village and brown dusty road
Where little boy Alyosha felt button with his foot.

Four days they wasted looking for man on every road,
Four days they looked for him, forgetting any sleep
On fifth day the had found the evil-looking stranger
And gave him very thorough search like very very deep.

They found button missing on enemy’s back pocket!
A button wasn’t present on foreign baggy pants.
And deep inside the pocket – a cartridge from revolver,
A map of Soviet border and other secret plans.

Patrolmen praised the children for bravery and courage
And then the border captain shook all of their hands
They gave the children rifle checkpoint had in storage
And little boy Alyoshka was given drum for bands.

That’s how it’s protected, the Soviet sacred border.
And no evil bastard will ever get inside!
Alyoshka kept the button, because he is a hoarder.
A little brown button with praise and lots of pride!

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If you were stuck in traffic on I-35 Southbound last night it was probably because of this:

The worst thing is that the driver actually made it home the night before, when it actually was slick.

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I bet you didn’t know that the famous song “Don’t Cry for me Argentina” had more lyrics than the title. If Argentina had a peso for every time a tourist quotes this song, no  one would ever have to work for living there. But until then Argentina just charges Americans $140 to cross the border and lets them walk around all day humming this song off-key for no additional charge.

After this trip to Argentina my non-existent bucket list got a lot smaller:

Checked Off My Bucket List: Argentina
Checked Off My Bucket List: Buenos Aires
Checked Off My Bucket List: Colonia del Sacramento
Checked Off My Bucket List: Cataratas del Iguazú
Checked Off My Bucket List: La Recoleta Cemetery

If you are looking for a an interesting destination and don’t mind paying the price, Argentina might be a place to consider.

Contrary to multiple tour guides and websites, nothing in Argentina is an extreme bargain, except for the public transportation. Your meals will probably cost you about the same as here, maybe slightly cheaper depending on the restaurant. Clothing is more expensive, and although you can find high quality leather products, a good leather jacket starts at $250. Vodka and vine cost about the same as here. Electronic items are significantly higher but most of them are  unusable here anyway. I have no idea how much precious stones cost in this country, but I’ve been told that they are cheaper in Argentina where many of them are mined.

Speaking about food. Although I’ve never seen a similar density of cafes, restaurants, coffee shops, sandwich stores, ice cream places, chocolate stores and whatever food establishments one can imagine, food was somewhat a disappointment for me. Not because it was bad – it wasn’t – but because it was so ordinary and somewhat bland. I was shocked to discover that Argentinians are not fans of spicy food. Their famous grilled meats served in omnipresent parrillas are usually just seasoned with salt and lemon juice. The quality of meat is excellent and the servings are huge with beef, chicken, pork, several kinds of sausages including blood sausage, chinchulín (chitterlings) and mollejas (sweetbreads) served in one huge pile on a plate.

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Continuing from my previous post about the orders issued by the Romanian Authority in Odessa regarding the treatment of the Jewish population and the creation of a Jewish Ghetto.
The source is in the National Archives of Ukraine, translation mine.

Order number 2 from November 15, 1941 by the Commander of the Odessa Garrison General N. Gineraru directing all persons of Jewish origin to declare possession of precious objects, gems and metals to the city police by 12pm on November 19th.

“Odessa newspaper .- November 17, 1941 – № 28. – P. 2.

I, Gen. Nikolai Gineraru, Commander of the Garrison of Odessa, on the basis of the Supreme Decree №1798 of 21 June 1941 and § 486 of the Code of Military Justice, in the interest of the Army, in order to protect the country, maintain order and public safety

ORDER :

§ 1. All persons of Jewish origin living in Odessa are mandated by 12pm on Nov. 19, 1941 to declare all their precious things, stones and metals (platinum, gold, silver) -in any form: jewelry, coins, household items, etc. The Jews living in the areas of Odessa, Ovidiopol, Ochakiv and Berezovsky regions are required to submit their declarations within 48 hours after the publication of this order. Statements in duplicate must be submitted to the City Police (in rural communities to the local authority). One copy of the application remains with the Police, the other – stamped by the city police or rural authority – is returned to the applicant.

§ 2. Those guilty of violating this order will be punished by death.

§ 3. This order is to be published in Romanian, German and Russian languages in Odessa, Ovidiopol, Ochakiv, Berezovka and enters in force in Odessa on November 16 of this year, and in Odessa, Ovidiopol, Ochakiv, Berezovsky regions, on the date of publication.

Establishing the facts of violation of this order is the duty of all officers, military, judiciary and civil police, as well as all military personnel with an official mandate for policing services. Violators will be escorted with the protocol and found property, to the court-martial of the Odessa Military Command (Kanatnaya Street., № 27)

Commander of the Odessa General N. GINERARU.

Military prosecutor Colonel BYLUTSA-Dumitrescu

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Cue the soundtrack:

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fp-ATy9tkrg

By the way, I can watch the girl on the right for hours, something hypnotic about her dancing.

El Camino Real in Kansas City, KS was recently listed as the number one on the Kansas City’s Top Ten Cheap Tacos list, which I am following as if it was a list of the 10 commandments of cheap food. After several visits to the place  I would agree that it’s undoubtedly one of the top taquerias in the metro. I usually avoid the word “authentic” because, as I have mentioned before, I have never had a meal in Mexico outside the feedlots for the pasty fat people otherwise known as resorts in Cancun. However, if I had to imagine what the Mexican people eat at home, it would be something like what’s served at El Camino Real.
Over the past several years my idea of the “real” Mexican food has evolved to exclude anything with puddles of melted cheese and mountains of lettuce, not that there is anything wrong with that. The type of Mexican taco I came to like is a simple mound of filling on a small corn tortilla with cilantro, onions and pico de gallo served with it or on the side. Sometimes you will get a lime but that’s as fancy as it goes. The secret is in simplicity which is what I appreciate in any food.
At El Camino Real the kitchen area is open so I was able to annoy the cooks hanging around and taking pictures. This is the first place where I saw the tortilla-making contraption and was able to capture its operation on-camera.

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bVCsBijFHA

The process is pretty simple. After tortillas are rolled…

…they go on the griddle…

…some pork “al pastor” is cut off

the spit and mixed with pineapple you can see above it …

…few more minutes of cooking…

…and done!

On the left-hand side you can see al pastor, on the right side is asada – steak and on the top is the lengua – tongue.
Here is another photo slightly turned:

You can see the rest of the taco selection in the menu:

The place is clean and has plenty of seating. I was able to park right outside of the door but there is plenty of non-metered parking in the area. On both of my visits, there was at least one English-speaking person in the restaurant, usually the waitress. If you dine in you will get complimentary chips, salsa and pico de gallo. Carry-out didn’t come with chips or pico de gallo, but I didn’t ask. They did send plenty of chopped cilantro, onions, salsa and limes.

3 tacos and a Mexican Coke (which is now sold at Costco, at least in Midtown) ran up to $6.48, a little price to pay for what the greatest restaurant critic of all time (to be left unnamed) called “the best tacos I had in my entire life”

*I used Google Translate, I am not exactly sure El Camino Real is The Royal Road

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