Russian people know hats. When I was growing up® almost every Soviet citizen owned some variation of a fur hat. You could tell a person social status by the hat: the cheapest ones were made out of rabbit fur and more expensive ones were made out of fox, wolf, sable, mink, beaver (yeah, I said beaver), etc. The typical Russian hat style is ushanka, which simply means a hat with ear-flaps.

Many years ago my Father had a muskrat hat custom made which at that time was very expensive, several times his monthly wages. I have to say that we got our money’s worth because I still own this hat and occasionally wear it to work to the delight of my co-workers.

And  no, my cat is still alive:

Of course in my hometown wearing this hat didn’t attract as much attention as it does here.

And in the army it was a part of the winter uniform:

Policemen wore them (this one is from Finland, which was a part of the USSR for some time):

Regular people wore them:

And even Kissinger put one on when it got cold enough:

Whatever you do, if you are a heterosexual male do not ever leave your house wearing any variation of ear-muffs, ear-warmers or other partial hats (visors included). These devices are the crocs of the hat world. If you are in a bind and a small animal is within reach you can easily have a do-it-yourself hat within seconds.

By the way, if you are in search of a small furry dead animal, please contact Happy In Bag, he will set you up.

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SARAH PALIN: He was satirical in that…

All this Sarah Palin satire business reminded me of a special place satire held in the USSR. Even during the times when straight talk would get a person arrested, the same idea framed in satirical terms was perfectly acceptable, up to a point of course. When I was growing up® there were at least two state-published satirical magazines –  Krokodil in Russian and Perets’ in Ukrainian where in between the caricatures bashing Americans Imperialists and Israeli Zionists, there was plenty of space devoted to satirizing the bureaucrats, alcoholics and other violators of work discipline. From the state-sponsored satire all the way down to colorful walls of shame at the workplace, various humorists were allowed to speak their mind as long as they didn’t direct their criticisms at the wrong people and didn’t say the wrong things. The most popular comedians mastered the special language understood only by the Soviet citizens who were trained to “read between the lines”. Fairly innocent comic routines had people rolling on the floor without having to say anything deemed offensive by the government; an uninitiated person would be dumbfounded but everyone in the country knew exactly what was being implied.

Often satirical materials were displayed in the streets for everyone to see and condemn whoever was being condemned at the time. Few photos as a continuation of my recent Window Shopping post.

From top to bottom (minus the rhyming):
“Volodya was kissing Nastya, talking about happiness, but all she wanted to know was how much money he was making” – criticizes gold-diggers;

“Flying for an hour, landing is fast but it takes all day to get home from the airport”  – criticizes slow airport transportation.

“Fedot is always sending people to his boss to get the answers, but if the boss has all the answers, why do we need Fedot” – criticizes indecisive management.

“When the fight was going on there was a crowd watching, but when it came to filling out a report, there were no witnesses” – no snitching?

Top: Children under 16 shouldn’t be watching adult movie!… (equivalent of R-rated movie)
Bottom: …but they are allowed to listen to adults fighting!

From top to bottom:

“There is a line waiting outside some bureaucrat’s door, while he went home to eat his lunch” – criticizes bad customer server and lack of work discipline.

“Plan of stocking the warehouse was well-prepared and discussed, instead someone should’ve discussed the shoddy condition of the warehouse itself” – criticizes wrong priorities and failing to see the “big picture”.

“Lazy useless employee didn’t do much all year and got so tired of doing nothing that he went on a resort vacation” – no explanation is needed.

“Lecturer talked about culture with self-importance and at length, but his unshaven unkempt looks were in contrast to the subject” – hippie looks were not encouraged.

Lastly, an international one. There were no limits on international satire as long as it wasn’t about the friendly socialist countries.

Top left pokes some wordplay fun at the UN (ООН); top right bashes the Spanish dictator Franco for boycotting soccer quarter-finals in Moscow obviously ordered by his superiors in the USA; the bottom one is about the U-2 incident.

As you can see, Sarah Palin is right: if you say something unfavorable you should resign, be fired, hauled away, sent to be “rehabilitated” at the labor camps, your family should be harassed and your name dragged through the mud; but satire is a different story because it’s so satirical, right?
You betcha.

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Reader Tracy asks in reference to one of my previous posts:

what we really wanna know is that dance!

We answer: Tracy, what you see is a traditional Russian folk dance. Although I personally never observed anyone dance that way at home without beforehand consuming “mass quantities” , it doesn’t mean it never happened. Maybe the fact that all of my relatives and most of my friends were Jewish explains my lack of personal encounters with the Russian folk dancing, but the fact remains.

It doesn’t mean that I was immune to some folksy dance moves. The photograph below depicts me in a Russian-style shirt ( I am the one next to a girl, if you have trouble locating me) at some kindergarten event. Of course you may wonder what was a Jewish kid doing wearing a Russian folk shirt. Well, that makes two of us, but on the other hand what does a Jewish shirt look like? I don’t know either. So much for multiculturalism…

Old joke: A Jewish girl comes home and tells her parents she needs to wear a national outfit to school the next day. Her Mom says to her Dad: “You hear? She wants a fur coat already!”

But I digress, if you want to find out more about Russian and Eastern European Folk Dancing, there are plenty of photos and videos on this website.

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If you were stuck in traffic on I-35 Southbound last night it was probably because of this:

The worst thing is that the driver actually made it home the night before, when it actually was slick.

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A full-blown winter storm in March? Check!
An incorrect, rapidly changing weather forecast? Check!
Scary drive home? Check!
Making it home alive to write about it – priceless!

If you don’t feel like getting out, I shot a little clip for you.

And the rest of my photos:

By the way I still think weather forecasters should be arrested for the incorrect predictions.
UPDATE: I mentioned in comments what the weather forecast used to look like in my childhood and here is a video from November 2, 1977. This is for the whole country;they just list general areas, conditions and temperature ranges (in C°).

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