I am not sure why I thought it was a great idea to post my personal thoughts here, I guess I am not that anonymous. While I don’t have much control of what’s going on in my head I didn’t have to spill it all out here. I just thought that writing it out and then reading it again will help me understand why I am feeling a certain way, not the way that I wanted to feel, because I wanted to be open, smiling,caring and happy. Instead I felt empty, removed and even more shut out, disgusted with myself for failing to be the person I always imagined I was. The only reason I stuck around was because I was hoping that some day I would be that person and reciprocate. It didn’t happen. I should have known better. I am sorry…I am sorry…. I am sorry.

I took down the things that shouldn’t have been here to start with. I will go back to writing about stuff that won’t hurt people I care about.

Bitter and cynical
Unable to feel
Sleepless nights.